Lift up your head

Today i happened to have a look at Biblestudytools.com for their daily Bible reading. And i don't know how I came across it, but it was the Bible passage regarding the Israelites when they were in the wilderness. They spoke out against God and fiery serpents were sent on them. Many Israelites were bitten and died. The passage goes like this:

^{(Numbers 21:5-9)}

⁵And the people spoke against God and against Moses, Why have you brought us out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no bread, neither is there any water, and we loathe this light (contemptible, unsubstantial) manna.

⁶Then the Lord sent fiery (burning) serpents among the people; and they bit the people, and many Israelites died.

⁷And the people came to Moses, and said, We have sinned, for we have spoken against the Lord and against you; pray to the Lord, that He may take away the serpents from us. So Moses prayed for the people.

⁸And the Lord said to Moses, Make a fiery serpent [of bronze] and set it on a pole; and everyone who is bitten, when he looks at it, shall live.

⁹And Moses made a serpent of bronze and put it on a pole, and if a serpent had bitten any man, when he looked to the serpent of bronze [^[a]attentively, expectantly, with a steady and absorbing gaze], he lived.

Then again in John 3:14,15, it says this:

¹⁴And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the desert [on a pole], so must [so it is necessary that] the Son of Man be lifted up [on the cross],^(B)

¹⁵In order that everyone who believes in Him [who cleaves to Him, trusts Him, and relies on Him] may ^[c]not perish, but have eternal life and [actually] live forever!

Numbers 21:9 Jesus said that as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, "that everyone who believes in Him [who cleaves to Him, trusts Him and relies on Him] may not perish, but have eternal life and [actually] live forever!" (John 3:14, 15). Obviously this implies that the look that caused the victim of a fiery serpent to be healed was something far more than a casual glance. A "look" would save, but what kind of a look? The Hebrew text here means "look attentively, expectantly, with a steady and absorbing gaze." Or, as Jesus said in the last verse of the chapter quoted above (John 3:36), "He who believes in (has faith in, clings to, relies on) the Son has (now possesses) eternal life." But whoever does not so believe in, cling to, and rely on the Son "will never see... life." The look that saves is not just a fleeting glance; it is a God-honoring, God-answered, fixed, and absorbing gaze!

I have an ulterior motive for doing this Bible search. Lately i've been feeling rather down and in need of encouragement. I keep wondering what might God's plan in all this be, how long i have to wait to get what i want, and what might be causing the delay, etc. I wanted, needed, to trust God. I want to be able to lean back and restfully say "God, it's all yours". In my rational mind, it's all possible. Yet, my feelings can't seem to come in line, and i find myself feeling panicky, anxious, upset, stressed about the situation which i seemingly have no control over.

I can't say I have achieved it. But I am comforted by this reading. Because it tells me to look. it's as simple as that. to gaze upon, to be absorbed by, to look to, to cling to, to believe, to have faith in, the work of Christ on the cross. And just as the serpent was lifted on a pole and all who looked were saved, Jesus was lifted up so that I may be healed, saved, redeemed, blessed. I am consoled because I cannot do anything more. And all I have to do, all i can do, is to look up at Him.

a day off

work to celebrate the husband's birthday.

We went to visit grandma who's is hospital early in the morning, had breakfast at a hawker centre. Love the morning market hustle and bustle. Then we decided to go to IMM because we were in the area and we are almost never in that part of Singapore.

Then we ran errands, reconfigured the furniture in the room for a fresh new look, tried to buy new shoes for me at City Square Mall and bought over $60 worth of groceries.

Now we are back home blissfully tired :) love off days. Love birthdays even more. Thank God for the husband. My answered prayer.

in His time

God I know in this process You are building me up, and while I cannot see why or how yet, I trust that You know best. So help me in this process to carry on, to hang on to your strength and find my identity in You.

forgetful me

Dear God, please protect us from any harm or less than beneficial situations. Cause good people who will stand up for our interests come our way. And at the end of every ordeal, help us to remember keenly that You have been faithful always. We choose to trust in You and we know that You always have the best in mind for us. And you know everything. So thank You God. In Jesus' Name, Amen Amen Amen!!

when the suffering continues

1 Peter 4

1 Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, 2 so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God.

Cheryl's version:

If i suffer, it's because I have been redeemed by Christ's work; Because I live in this world, naturally i am affected by the way the world thinks. So my focus needs to be not living for "human passions".

7 The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. 8Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 9 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: 11 whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God (Cheryl: "word of God"); whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.


19 Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.

Cheryl's version:
In the meantime, do these things. And our God is trustworthy, loving and powerful.

Running baby

(photo is not mine :)

I have been keeping up with my running schedule, which really is, if i get home at a reasonable time (usually before 8pm), I will go out for a run. And this week, i've done it 3 times! Feeling quite proud of myself.

On Monday (the 1st time this week i jogged), i asked the husband, why should i do this, since i know down the road, eventually, i will give up. This is especially since i cannot imagine myself running when i'm forty. I'm also thinking of the upcoming holiday, which will serve as a momentum breaker. The husband had no reply, and i went on ahead and jogged. When i returned, he seemed to have a reply for me, when he said, never mind tomorrow, we just take each day as it comes. You feel good now right? I said yes.

On Tuesday, i worked so late, when i got home, i didn't have an ounce in me left. I had dinner and almost immediately went to bed.

On Wednesday i worked late again. And had to resort to working out on my stepper for 60mins to relive the feel good effect.

On Thursday i ran. On Friday i ran again.

London Paris Glasgow Manchester Munich here we come

I have been progressively booking the tickets required for our travel upcoming in the end of October. And I have to say, we're quite the go-getter couple. We're covering 5 cities (3 countries) in 3 weeks.

Total expenses so far (before even setting foot out of the country)

Flight to Manchester S$4,800
Flight to/from Glasgow S$410
Flight to/from Paris S$390
Trains to/from London S$90
Total: S$5,690


Accoms in Glasgow 7 Nights S$955
Accoms in Paris 1 Night S$90
Accoms in Munich 2 Nights S$240
Total: S$1,285

Oh my. Since we're spending so much, we'd BETTER enjoy ourselves. ha.

Kate Middleton is another person whom I find extremely pleasant to look at. :)

Rachel Bilson

my favourite actress+ballet=a photo i like.

Monday morning

I woke up this morning with a start. The iphone read 8:18AM. Ending up reaching work at 9AM. Still quite ok.

Went running with a friend yesterday. We ran 4.7km (according to google maps) in 45mins. Yes, it was a slow slow run. But it felt really good. By the time we finished, we were feeling fit and skinny. This morning, i woke feeling q amazing. The only thing about this running thing is that i doubt i can keep it up. The lure of tv and simply lazing around is simply too irresistible most of the time.

Squeaky

Am uncluttering again. I have 5 big boxes of bags. They range from tiny purses to large travel bags. I haven't bought a bag in the last 2 years at least, but the collection increases because my mum buys. Then she's happy to share the bags (and the guilt). Today i took them all out of the cupboard to go through them to remind myself which ones exist. My husband kept saying, how about give them to charity? But honestly, there's nothing i don't like. I love them all. So only the spoilt ones are going to be thrown out (not to charity, but to the recycle bin). And i wanted to clean some bags. Ended up searching the internet for tips. And it comes down to this: vinegar+water+baking soda. They supposedly work wonders. So i'm soaking some bags (obviously not leather) overnight and see how it works.

I've tried the vinegar+water method on some other parts of the house and it works well. Particularly kitchen and bathroom stains. Amazing.

after your heart

The person after God's heart is the person who is dependent on what God can do for him; and not what he can do for God.

thought

Anything in the Christian life can be done legalistically. Legalism is the outer obedience without the inner response of the heart. However, just because something is potentially legalistic doesn't mean we should stop doing it out of a fear of legalism. Rather, we should try to align our hearts with the action, with God's help of course.

for the things I have

My mum told me today that we often take little things for granted. Things like a steady income and basically, everything I have. She also reminded me that constantly thinking about the things i don't have is not the wise way to live life.

The stuff she said are not new. But it hit the spot today.

bye bye baby

Chippy had to be put to sleep because he has been sick for a while. Other than itchy skin all the time, he was losing weight despite eating a lot. This is the latest picture i have of him, taken on my wedding day. I cut the husband out cos he doesn't want his pic on my blog. heh.

Anyway, bye bye chippy. after you, i don't think i'l have another dog. I'll never forget his enthusiasm when you come near to him, touch him or talk to him. He's always wanting attention. The most endearing is when he snores in his sleep. He doesn't always snore. I suspect only when he feels safe. And he's the only dog who knows to knock and wait for you to open the door. haha.

bye bye, i think you are probably in a better place, where skin doesn't itch and there's always someone next to you, just the way you like it.

housewifey things

This year I didn't get to go overseas (other than a 5-day honeymoon). And with the extra polling day holiday and marriage leave, I have close to 30 days of leave. I know it sounds like super a lot. But when one does go overseas like 15 days for a Europe trip, a short beach holiday, then a few days here and there to fight fatigue, I think it's just nice. But when one takes leave to stay home (for lack of a better place or places to go) it really does feel like a lot. I almost feel bad taking leave and I can't figure why.

So I stay home to declutter. Of course, I only do a very little bit each time. Then I sit in front of the tv and sew. I find things to mend and alter. I even made a purse out of the ribbon on my bridal hand bouquet ( for memories' sake). Its v therapeutic.

Another thing is doing laundry. Laundry make s me realise that I hv a lot of clothes and not enough wardrobe space. And makes me tell myself not to buy any more things. It's a bittersweet feeling.

Mdm Kwa

EULOGY BY LI XIUQI AT THE FUNERAL SERVICE OF MRS LEE KUAN YEW, MANDAI CREMATORIUM, 6 OCTOBER 2010 Eulogy for Nainai

"Hi everyone. My name is Xiuqi and I’m Mrs Lee’s granddaughter. I racked my brains as to what to tell you that you haven’t already heard many times. By now, you have heard all about what a remarkable woman my grandmother was. How she was an excellent wife and mother; how she was kind-hearted, sharp-minded and a tower of strength. And indeed she was. But now I’m going to share something else. As my granddad has said, after 2003, Nainai divided her life into BS and AS – Before Stroke and After Stroke. I’d like to give you a glimpse into Nainai’s life After Stroke. Before stroke, she was a power woman. She ran the Oxley road household like a tight ship. She paid the maids, bought the fish, qualitychecked the cooking, and peeled my grandfather’s fruit and packed his suitcase. She exercised rigorously every day and ate not a single extra calorie, which preserved her hourglass figure for her many gorgeous cheongsams. She was no-nonsense and did not believe in making small talk or nattering on the phone with other women. Then her stroke struck in 2003 while she was in London. Shocked by the news, me and my friends prayed fervently and the next day she made a miraculous recovery. I flew over to visit her in the East London hospital. She had regained consciousness and the doctor was asking her a standard set of questions to assess her cognitive function. Questions such as “is it day or night? Do you know who I am? Do you know where you are?” She was answering until he got to the question “Do you know who is the prime minister?” She got cross and said “of course I know who the prime minister is!” and after that she refused to answer any more questions because she felt 2 the doctor was talking to her like she was stupid. That was when I knew she was back to normal. While she was still away, her children quickly seized the opportunity to renovate and elderly-proof the old Oxley Road house. They leveled the bathroom floor and installed a shower. This was a big deal because all these years, my grandparents had still been bathing with the old-fashioned system – scooping from a tub of water the same way they bathed me when I was little! So my granny came home to find her tub gone and a shower in its place. She was not pleased at all and refused to bathe at home for several days, choosing to bathe in the Istana instead. Many things changed at Oxley Road. Now my granddad had to peel his own fruit, peel her fruit, pack his own suitcase and make his own Milo. For the first time in a while, he had to handle money so he could pay the maids. My granny locked the money in one place, and kept the keys to the lock in another totally unrelated place. My granddad complained that she needed a system but she retorted that she had a system. And that was that. For the first time in her life, my granny was helpless. She experienced a physical handicap and it did give her frustration. But I knew that she was also secretly happy to be taken care of. And she acquired the glow of a girl who knew she was adored. More changes were in store. My family was a little perturbed when my granny started showing personality changes. Her memory, which used to be sharp as a tack, became a little blunted. She grumbled about this but I told her what’s the big deal, that’s how I feel all the time. She began to collect colourful things like ribbons and pinwheels. She had a newfound interest in old nursery rhymes and lullabies that she used to know. She wondered if she was entering second childhood. She started to natter on the phone like other women. She started to joke around with her security officers. 3 For a time my family worried that she had Alzheimer’s but I don’t think she did. Her wit was as rapier-sharp as ever. No, what I saw was a woman who for the first time could lighten up and smell the flowers. I would say, and I heard many others say as well, that they felt she became less fearsome and more approachable. I personally enjoyed the new her very much. I decided I would like to travel with my grandparents as much as I could, see the world and spend time with them too. We went on many trips in 4 years. And no, the state did not pay for my plane tickets so not to worry, Ministry of Finance. Those were happy memories. We went to France where we enjoyed walks in rose gardens and along riverbanks. We went to Italy where my granny surpassed us all by polishing off two huge scoops of gelato – before dinner. Once we went on a long trip with multiple legs, from Paris to the Middle East. My granny swears by bananas to keep the digestive tract working smoothly. I was just amazed at how she managed to supply herself with them. She carried one in her hand-carry luggage, when we got to our first destination, the ambassador’s wife produced more bananas for her, and when we arrived at the next country, my aunt Kim Li flew in, handed her a bag and said “here are the bananas you asked for.” An unbroken supply chain halfway around the world. In Tokyo my granny went to Tokyo Hands, a 7-storey DIY store. She has always been on a lifelong quest for the Perfect Hairbrush. She found a nice hairbrush there. It wasn’t expensive. But even purchasing it was a struggle for her because Nainai has always been frugal to a fault. In the end, the hairbrush won. Nainai said, “Well, I’m already so old, I can afford to buy it” and put down the money. She went home smiling, hairbrush in hand. That was the thing about my granny. Some days, the aches and pains would act up, she felt old, she would be grouchy and critical. But there was something about her that made you always to please her. When you hit on 4 something that she really liked, her whole person would light up and she would continue to praise it forever and ever. Such was the case when we went to Shanghai. Once I bought her a pair of black Puma shoes. They were a spiffy pair with a stripe in Ferrari red. They cost me very little but it didn’t matter. She adored them. She felt cool in them and every single time she wore them she would beam and feel very pleased with herself and I’d feel satisfied that my money was supremely wellspent. Once my granny discovered the joy of MP3 players, she accumulated more than me. Some were gifts from other people who, like me, liked to please her. She was young at heart. Sadly, her 80-something-year-old body gave her aches and pains all the time. However, she was a survivor and never gave up trying to overcome it. She tried everything, from sleeping with little pillows in various positions to support her body, to acupuncture, sports massage, swimming an hour a day, and so on. One time I arrived at her house to find she had gotten rubber balls with blunt rubber spikes, like sea urchins. Trigger balls, they are called. Nainai recommended them to me and the two of us spent the evening sitting on the balls on the floor, massaging the muscles in our butt. I always felt sad that her aging body did not allow her to do the things that her soul wanted to do, such as roam the streets window shopping, eat more desserts, or move around freely. The most terrible thing was when she got locked-in syndrome and could no longer move nor communicate. It pained me imagining how agonising it would be to be in her position, just lying there for months while others ate, drank, moved and talked. Ever the survivor, she overcame multiple infections in her locked-in state, infections that people thought would kill her. A big thank you must go to her wonderful security officers and nursing staff who grew to love her and facilitated her life with a lot of love. 5 The post-stroke Nainai was a person who was full of life. If I could spend more years with her, and if she was able-bodied, there would still be many things to see, do, talk about and taste. And indeed I have full assurance that one day, I will."

Hey this is cool

I just downloaded an app on my iPhone to allow me to blog on the go (not tt I blog all the time).

But this is cool