Today i had touch training, as i have been the last few weeks. It actually takes place every Mon, Wed and Fri. But i only go for Wed and Fri ones cos Mon is meant for newcomers.
Training went on fairly well. I questioned a drill pretty thoroughly (as pleasantly as I can). It wasn't that i didn't get how it works, but rather i doubted (a) that it is beneficial to the play and (b) even if it was, the complexity of it makes it virtually impossible for it to be used on the field.
To deal with (a), my coach went through everything slow-mo. It all looked fairytale-like as people were 'breaking through'. However, i noted that the defence line was playing the demo kind of defence where they reacted really slowly. But it certainly helps with the identification of gaps and all. So ya, i decided that i can agree that it works.
But my (b) doubt wasn't attended to. So i requested coach to run the drill at normal pace. And it was a fair mess. But well, when everyone got used to the drill, it was smoother and it achieved the effect of having us react to defence line rather than sticking closely to a set drill. I had my doubts cleared. And i was convinced. Most of the time, i just want to be convinced. So i ask prying questions. Pls don't let me get to u. I'm just trying to understand. I will try to be tactful.
This is one small part of the training. After the drills, we proceeded to playing games, which i enjoy thoroughly. And once again, i was the substitute. I understand that it's nothing to be proud of, so wat the hell am i doing, blogging about it?
Well, it's cos i'm troubled about it. And i learnt today that it is common for gals to have to let out their frustration by talking about it. (i talk a lot. So i'm not a pent-up person. hahahah) I have told 2 most dear people to me about it. But i'm still thinking about it. How ar?
I'm thinking of quitting. sigh
Let me provide reasons. hee. making lists is one of my talents.
1) i feel demoralised. And it's not making me feel good about myself.
let me explain. it's not that i only do things that make me feel good. cos if so, i would never have taken up rugby, to begin with. It's just that now i feel rather unfairly judged where skills and fitness is concerned. And i don't see why i have to put up with it.
2) it's time to move on. I intend to channel my energies to something else. Haven't thought of what exactly. but it's likely to be active and calorie-burning.
3) I don't like it that my appetite increases when i train. I feel stronger and all. But it's not that big a deal. And i do feel good. But not that good.
4) i don't like to attend training. I don't mix with the people there well. i feel awfully different from them. but i'm not very good at socialising. it's really just me i guess. Everytime i have to force myself to go. And it shouldn't be like that right?
5) I feel like i'm being treated like a kid in training. I'm an adult. And i'm a good person. not some childish adult.
argghhh. i'm complaining. it's bad. but i'l be praying about it. cos i remember that the last time i prayed about joining a club, God responded in such a nice way. I'l hear what He has to say this time.