Friday, May 27, 2011

bye bye baby

Chippy had to be put to sleep because he has been sick for a while. Other than itchy skin all the time, he was losing weight despite eating a lot. This is the latest picture i have of him, taken on my wedding day. I cut the husband out cos he doesn't want his pic on my blog. heh.

Anyway, bye bye chippy. after you, i don't think i'l have another dog. I'll never forget his enthusiasm when you come near to him, touch him or talk to him. He's always wanting attention. The most endearing is when he snores in his sleep. He doesn't always snore. I suspect only when he feels safe. And he's the only dog who knows to knock and wait for you to open the door. haha.

bye bye, i think you are probably in a better place, where skin doesn't itch and there's always someone next to you, just the way you like it.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

housewifey things

This year I didn't get to go overseas (other than a 5-day honeymoon). And with the extra polling day holiday and marriage leave, I have close to 30 days of leave. I know it sounds like super a lot. But when one does go overseas like 15 days for a Europe trip, a short beach holiday, then a few days here and there to fight fatigue, I think it's just nice. But when one takes leave to stay home (for lack of a better place or places to go) it really does feel like a lot. I almost feel bad taking leave and I can't figure why.

So I stay home to declutter. Of course, I only do a very little bit each time. Then I sit in front of the tv and sew. I find things to mend and alter. I even made a purse out of the ribbon on my bridal hand bouquet ( for memories' sake). Its v therapeutic.

Another thing is doing laundry. Laundry make s me realise that I hv a lot of clothes and not enough wardrobe space. And makes me tell myself not to buy any more things. It's a bittersweet feeling.

Monday, May 09, 2011

Mdm Kwa

EULOGY BY LI XIUQI AT THE FUNERAL SERVICE OF MRS LEE KUAN YEW, MANDAI CREMATORIUM, 6 OCTOBER 2010 Eulogy for Nainai

"Hi everyone. My name is Xiuqi and I’m Mrs Lee’s granddaughter. I racked my brains as to what to tell you that you haven’t already heard many times. By now, you have heard all about what a remarkable woman my grandmother was. How she was an excellent wife and mother; how she was kind-hearted, sharp-minded and a tower of strength. And indeed she was. But now I’m going to share something else. As my granddad has said, after 2003, Nainai divided her life into BS and AS – Before Stroke and After Stroke. I’d like to give you a glimpse into Nainai’s life After Stroke. Before stroke, she was a power woman. She ran the Oxley road household like a tight ship. She paid the maids, bought the fish, qualitychecked the cooking, and peeled my grandfather’s fruit and packed his suitcase. She exercised rigorously every day and ate not a single extra calorie, which preserved her hourglass figure for her many gorgeous cheongsams. She was no-nonsense and did not believe in making small talk or nattering on the phone with other women. Then her stroke struck in 2003 while she was in London. Shocked by the news, me and my friends prayed fervently and the next day she made a miraculous recovery. I flew over to visit her in the East London hospital. She had regained consciousness and the doctor was asking her a standard set of questions to assess her cognitive function. Questions such as “is it day or night? Do you know who I am? Do you know where you are?” She was answering until he got to the question “Do you know who is the prime minister?” She got cross and said “of course I know who the prime minister is!” and after that she refused to answer any more questions because she felt 2 the doctor was talking to her like she was stupid. That was when I knew she was back to normal. While she was still away, her children quickly seized the opportunity to renovate and elderly-proof the old Oxley Road house. They leveled the bathroom floor and installed a shower. This was a big deal because all these years, my grandparents had still been bathing with the old-fashioned system – scooping from a tub of water the same way they bathed me when I was little! So my granny came home to find her tub gone and a shower in its place. She was not pleased at all and refused to bathe at home for several days, choosing to bathe in the Istana instead. Many things changed at Oxley Road. Now my granddad had to peel his own fruit, peel her fruit, pack his own suitcase and make his own Milo. For the first time in a while, he had to handle money so he could pay the maids. My granny locked the money in one place, and kept the keys to the lock in another totally unrelated place. My granddad complained that she needed a system but she retorted that she had a system. And that was that. For the first time in her life, my granny was helpless. She experienced a physical handicap and it did give her frustration. But I knew that she was also secretly happy to be taken care of. And she acquired the glow of a girl who knew she was adored. More changes were in store. My family was a little perturbed when my granny started showing personality changes. Her memory, which used to be sharp as a tack, became a little blunted. She grumbled about this but I told her what’s the big deal, that’s how I feel all the time. She began to collect colourful things like ribbons and pinwheels. She had a newfound interest in old nursery rhymes and lullabies that she used to know. She wondered if she was entering second childhood. She started to natter on the phone like other women. She started to joke around with her security officers. 3 For a time my family worried that she had Alzheimer’s but I don’t think she did. Her wit was as rapier-sharp as ever. No, what I saw was a woman who for the first time could lighten up and smell the flowers. I would say, and I heard many others say as well, that they felt she became less fearsome and more approachable. I personally enjoyed the new her very much. I decided I would like to travel with my grandparents as much as I could, see the world and spend time with them too. We went on many trips in 4 years. And no, the state did not pay for my plane tickets so not to worry, Ministry of Finance. Those were happy memories. We went to France where we enjoyed walks in rose gardens and along riverbanks. We went to Italy where my granny surpassed us all by polishing off two huge scoops of gelato – before dinner. Once we went on a long trip with multiple legs, from Paris to the Middle East. My granny swears by bananas to keep the digestive tract working smoothly. I was just amazed at how she managed to supply herself with them. She carried one in her hand-carry luggage, when we got to our first destination, the ambassador’s wife produced more bananas for her, and when we arrived at the next country, my aunt Kim Li flew in, handed her a bag and said “here are the bananas you asked for.” An unbroken supply chain halfway around the world. In Tokyo my granny went to Tokyo Hands, a 7-storey DIY store. She has always been on a lifelong quest for the Perfect Hairbrush. She found a nice hairbrush there. It wasn’t expensive. But even purchasing it was a struggle for her because Nainai has always been frugal to a fault. In the end, the hairbrush won. Nainai said, “Well, I’m already so old, I can afford to buy it” and put down the money. She went home smiling, hairbrush in hand. That was the thing about my granny. Some days, the aches and pains would act up, she felt old, she would be grouchy and critical. But there was something about her that made you always to please her. When you hit on 4 something that she really liked, her whole person would light up and she would continue to praise it forever and ever. Such was the case when we went to Shanghai. Once I bought her a pair of black Puma shoes. They were a spiffy pair with a stripe in Ferrari red. They cost me very little but it didn’t matter. She adored them. She felt cool in them and every single time she wore them she would beam and feel very pleased with herself and I’d feel satisfied that my money was supremely wellspent. Once my granny discovered the joy of MP3 players, she accumulated more than me. Some were gifts from other people who, like me, liked to please her. She was young at heart. Sadly, her 80-something-year-old body gave her aches and pains all the time. However, she was a survivor and never gave up trying to overcome it. She tried everything, from sleeping with little pillows in various positions to support her body, to acupuncture, sports massage, swimming an hour a day, and so on. One time I arrived at her house to find she had gotten rubber balls with blunt rubber spikes, like sea urchins. Trigger balls, they are called. Nainai recommended them to me and the two of us spent the evening sitting on the balls on the floor, massaging the muscles in our butt. I always felt sad that her aging body did not allow her to do the things that her soul wanted to do, such as roam the streets window shopping, eat more desserts, or move around freely. The most terrible thing was when she got locked-in syndrome and could no longer move nor communicate. It pained me imagining how agonising it would be to be in her position, just lying there for months while others ate, drank, moved and talked. Ever the survivor, she overcame multiple infections in her locked-in state, infections that people thought would kill her. A big thank you must go to her wonderful security officers and nursing staff who grew to love her and facilitated her life with a lot of love. 5 The post-stroke Nainai was a person who was full of life. If I could spend more years with her, and if she was able-bodied, there would still be many things to see, do, talk about and taste. And indeed I have full assurance that one day, I will."

Friday, March 18, 2011

Hey this is cool

I just downloaded an app on my iPhone to allow me to blog on the go (not tt I blog all the time).

But this is cool

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Happy Valentine's :)

I got a present for V day! Even though it was agreed that we wouldn't celebrate Valentine's Day. This is mainly because there are way too many festivities in a year. I remember shortlisting a few of them: Christmas, Valentines, Anniversary, Birthday (his), Birthday (hers). And i think of them all, i value anniversary and birthdays most.

But this is such a nice surprise! The lao gong gave me a Hello Kitty iphone cover. funny part was when he said "look, got flower for you". best part is he wrote a card.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

God, I thank You for Your grace and peace

Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. - 2 Peter 1:2

Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord (KJV)

If you would like to walk in a greater measure of God's favour, 2 Peter 1:2 says that grace, which is the undeserved favour of God, and peace, can be multiplied to you. Peace is the word "shalom" in Hebrew. Its definition includes wholeness, health and prosperity. So when you walk in divine favour and peace, you walk in blessings in every area of your life!

But how does the undeserved favour and shalom of God increase in your life? It is not by your labouring or toiling to earn it. The Bible says that it comes as your knowledge of Jesus and His finished work increases. It comes as you learn more about and believe that through Jesus' one sacrifice at the cross, God removed all your sins, gave you His righteousness as a gift and put you in Christ to enjoy everything that Jesus has. God's favour is multiplied in your life when you simply believe that the favour of God that is on Christ is also on you because of what Jesus' work at the cross has accomplished.

Today, you don't have to struggle for favour. Speak forth God's Word in faith. On your way to work, remind yourself, "God's favour surrounds me as with a shield." (Psalm 5:12) As you continue to speak we are reminded of God's favour over our lives through the revelation of Jesus' finished work. When we remind ourselves more, I believe we will "see" it more.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

New beginnings

Wow. I didn't get to post on the blog on 1 Jan 2011 because we were simply too busy and tired. But i'm proud to say that this blog is 6 years old!

I know that i haven't been posting much other than random pictures of the things i'd like to throw. heh.

We got married on 1 Jan 2011 and we started living together since then. It started off weird (and sweet at the same time). We had never even spent the night at one another's place before marriage so you can imagine the weird (for lack of a better word) feeling of having another in your bed. In fact, this morning he told me that i move too much in bed. hmmm...

Having your own space also means that you keep cleaning. Yesterday a centipede was sighted. We didn't know wat to do, other than go out to the nearest petrol kiosk to buy a bottle of Baygone. We never saw Mr Centipede again though. Didn't get a chance to squash him. haha.

Since right after the honeymoon, I either have class or tuition or i have to work late. But because working continues into the night, it's nice to have a companion who is also reading. I thought that once we start to live together, I would lose the experience of being walked home. But it turns out that that's not true, because sometimes he would still go to the MRT station to "pick" me then walk back together.

I just hope work gets a little less hectic next week, then i might have time to pack my things. Living out of unlabelled boxes is a little tough. :)

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Friday, October 29, 2010

it's been too long

it's been too long since i've signed in. because i forgot my password. i took a look at my blog and briefly clicked through all the friends' blogs i've linked may be considered defunct. the last update being dunnowhen.

Anyways, i think facebook killed blogs. haha. seriously. i watched The Social Network last weekend and loved it. Made me feel like there's some awesome wealth out there to be made if you have a good idea and the ability to make it take off (as with most things i guess).

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Keepsakes

Some time back, I cleared my room and decided to throw some things which i've kept for a long time, which i couldn't bear to part with. Here's a little walk down memory lane.


One of the medals we won with the SMU team :)

Another one.




this looks like a repeat. I tried to rotate the picture. But somehow, when it's loaded onto the blog, it tilts back.





This flower is from my sis during my first musical Sing to the Dawn. She got a friend to run to the stage to present to me during the curtain call. She meant to make me feel like a star!! :)


One of those pins. I played the trumpet in sec school.

old RJC badge. not mine. my sister's.


NJC touch rocks. we were the best girls. :)

Waddle, my house in RGS.

the gift wrap

another one.


i'm yellow name tag batch in RGS.





My primary school. i think this was the leaving gift.




My sis gave this to me cos she thought it was hilarious.


And for thanking me for being a terrific "shit squad" i.e. the person to call when the niece shits.


The RGS band badge. below is the modern one. change took place while i was there :)

Thursday, September 02, 2010

The niece

Let us exalt His name together, forever

At all times I will bless Him; His praise will be in my mouth.
My soul makes its boast in the Lord.
The humble man will hear of Him; The afflicted will be glad,

And join with me to magnify the Lord.

*Let us exalt His name together forever,
I sought the Lord;He heard me and delivered me from my fears.
Let us exalt His name together, forever,

Oh sing His praises, magnify the Lord.

The angel of the Lord encamps, Round those who fear His name
To save them and deliver them from harm.
Though lions roar with hunger, We lack for no good thing.

No wonder, then, we praise Him with our song.

Come, children, now and hear me if you would see long life.
Just keep your lips from wickedness and lies.
Do good and turn from evil; seek peace instead of strife.

Love righteousness and God will hear your cry.

Friday, July 09, 2010

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Related party transactions

1. Facts i.e. numbers, significance (relative to total revenue, expenses)
2. Representation
3. Our rules
4. In summary/conclusion "in absence of..., unable to comment if..."

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Dear Jesus,

Help me not lose heart. Be my encourager, my yardstick, my passion, my love.

Monday, April 26, 2010

the niece

I called my sis in LA today. She and the niece were in the park. It was 4plus in the afternoon though i was just waking up for work. She carried the niece and tells me that she was playing with the string of her hoodie and laughing to herself. Her latest interests include strings, zips and the mobile phone (i think this one is pretty generic for most babies/kids).

She laughed when she found the other string. And it made my big blue Monday feel a lot less blue. why must LA be so far away from Singapore?

Friday, April 23, 2010

The Great (unreachable?) S’pore Dream

As part of his ‘What is your dream?’ project, freelance photographer Charles Lim approached strangers and got them to write down their dreams on a chalkboard. Responses ranged from the idealistic (above) to the pragmatic (second picture). — PHOTOS: CHARLES LIM

IF YOU are compiling a handbook on how to succeed in Singapore, you might be tempted to just cut and paste Mr Scott Huang’s story into it. He studied hard in school, received a prestigious scholarship, attended an American Ivy League university, earned a master’s in electrical engineering, and went on to a mid-level job in a large maritime company.

What is supposed to happen next – so goes the Singapore Dream – is that he gets married, owns a car, moves into a condominium, joins a golf club, and settles into a comfortable middle-class life happily ever after. Yet, as the 30-year-old will testify readily, this age-old formula isn’t working like he thought it would.

He intends to marry his fiancee, who works in the media industry, by the end of the year, but that’s just about where the wheels start to come off the wagon. Spiralling prices mean the choice piece of private property he hankers for hangs in the balance. Driving a car of his own has been relegated far down the priority list. He has now drafted a B-dream just in case the A-dream turns out to be beyond his reach. ‘I now have what I call a minimum goal and an ideal goal,’ he says. ‘The minimum goal is an HDB flat; the ideal goal is a condominium apartment and a car.’ Achieving his ideal goal – which includes an overseas education for his future children – is beginning to sound like an impossible dream. ‘It will require major changes in lifestyle. I cannot go out so much and cannot have holidays every year. But I’m trying to stay hopeful,’ he says.

Mr Huang’s tale of the struggle to achieve the Singapore Dream is one familiar to many young Singaporeans of his cohort: in their mid-20s to mid-30s, tertiary-educated, about to settle down or newly married, on the cusp of life. An increasingly competitive environment and news of rising car and home prices have led to a feeling that the good life they aspire to is slowly slipping out of reach.

But is that really the case?

After all, the country has encountered such bumps several times in its history and every time, young Singaporeans seem to have emerged with their dreams more or less intact. In 1996, an impassioned debate took place in Parliament over concerns that the Singapore Dream was dying. Eventually, a basket of measures was uncovered to keep the dream alive, including building executive condominiums to provide affordable condo-style living. The question now is whether another round of initiatives may be forthcoming to keep the young from losing hope. Or is the current situation just a fleeting feeling of helplessness, a phase, a product of economic cycles? More pertinently, do the young Singaporeans of today dream the same dream as their parents and grandparents? Or have they scaled the hierarchy of needs and gone beyond such dreams? Or, given a matured economy with slower growth, should Mr Huang and company scale down their expectations instead?

What is the dream?

ONE early articulation of the Singapore Dream in a 1981 Sunday Times article defined it as: ‘A salary of a few thousand dollars a month; enough extra cash to decorate the home with the latest equipment and branded fabrics and furniture; holidays abroad; two children and a promise for the future.’ Sometime in the 1990s, this definition was refined to specify the five Cs – a car, condominium, credit cards, cash, and a country club membership. Are these dreams still relevant, considering that the country has undergone a complete transformation in the past three decades? Insight posed this question to a dozen young Singaporeans like Mr Huang, and the answer has largely been, ‘Yes’.

Although many responded initially with answers like ‘happiness’ or ‘a good life’, the achievement of these goals is predicated on the acquisition of material goods. Only two stress that the happiness they seek has nothing to do with .

Mr Colin Lim, who works in the finance industry, feels that it is completely natural for people who have grown up watching their parents get rich to want the same things. Says the 29-year-old: ‘I think any society that is going through a period of economic development would end up dreaming the same things and aspiring to the same material things.’ Indeed, no matter how you attempt to classify it, the Singapore Dream is invariably shoved into a -lined pigeon hole.
National University of Singapore sociologist Tan Ern Ser is someone who knows a thing or two about the Singapore Dream, having set out to study it in the early 1980s when he did his master’s thesis.

He concludes that the Singapore Dream is in many ways similar to its American equivalent in the sense that both have to do with social mobility. ‘Essentially, it involves crossing a symbolic public-private divide,’ he says, referring to things like housing and transport.
He adds that the Singapore version has not changed much over the years because the Singapore project has not changed either. ‘Apart from the project of building a nation populated by people with a strong sense of national identity, the Singapore project aims to create a middle-class society. These two components are best seen as works-in-progress, and likely to remain so for a long time to come,’ he says.

Political observer Eugene Tan, a law lecturer at the Singapore Management University, links it to the Government’s emphasis on the economy. ‘The five Cs are still very much regarded as the benchmark of success, and government policy entrenches the mindset that expanding economic opportunity is critical to the nation, the family and the individual’s well-being.’ He adds: ‘Societal conditioning and political socialisation mean that the Dream has a powerful effect on Singaporeans’ value systems, attitudes, aspirations, and ambitions.’ Many also point to the sort of role models society and the media tend to present here.

Singaporeans invited to schools to give talks tend to be financially successful people in the mainstream, not a stay-at-home mum or an avant-garde artist living in a Little India walk-up.
Of course, it cannot be generalised that young Singaporeans care only about things related to . Probe further and many list more intangible things, like raising good children or having a good work-life balance, as close seconds on the dream hierarchy.

Says Ms Jamie Lim, 27, who works as a consultant in an accounting firm: ‘Raising good children is definitely part of the big picture, but of course, when people think of children, they also have to think of .’ Then there are some who dance to a different drum beat. Like Miss Li Hanyi, 28, an art director in an advertising agency, who says simply that the thought of being tied to a house, kids and is ‘everything I don’t want in life’. She dreams of a more open society: ‘I want the vibrancy of New York but with all the things I like about Singapore.’

Mr Eugene Tan thinks that such dreams will creep slowly into the Singaporean’s consciousness but that it will be some time before materialism is usurped: ‘The Dream has evolved but the innate vulnerability of our society continues to persist and that heightens the drive towards continuous striving as a hedge against being irrelevant. Being poor carries a heavy social stigma.’
IT MAY not be the most unbiased view, but nearly every young Singaporean interviewed is convinced he is facing a harder struggle and a steeper climb than the preceding generation.
Teacher Ross Nasir, 24, is certainly feeling the strain. She is hopeful that she will one day match the executive maisonette her businessman father bought when he was in his 40s, but it just seems very bleak to her right now. ‘Everything seems to be getting inaccessible. It’s like striking Toto,’ she sighed.

This exaggerated sense of hopelessness is common, even if not completely valid as each generation has to slog to achieve its dreams. It is true to say, however, that earlier generations generally enjoyed greater social mobility than later ones.

Professor Tan Ern Ser calls the late 1970s and early 1980s the ‘golden age of the Singapore Dream’. Since then, he says, the playing field has become more crowded, with more higher-educated middle-class families all jostling to get ahead in the ‘mobility game’.
Mr Eugene Tan puts it this way: ‘A degree earned a generation or two ago was a passport to a good life but a degree today is no guarantee.’ Indeed, the sort of asset appreciation the older ‘lucky generation’ enjoyed is mind-boggling to the young professionals of today.

In 1965, half the labour force earned less than $150 per month. By 1985, this had shot up to between $600 and $1,500, an increase by up to 10 times. An average young professional starting a job today with a $2,000 salary would not dare dream that it will turn into $20,000, no matter how long he works. The same goes for property. Those who bought HDB flats in the 1960s and 1970s for $10,000 or less would have been able to cash out today at up to $500,000.
Much of this perceived luck can be attributed to the rapid growth Singapore went through in that period. With a mature economy comes slower, productivity-related growth.

For today’s young, that simply means good wage increases and asset appreciation cannot be taken for granted. Says Prof Tan: ‘The journey is perceived as becoming somewhat more hazardous, competitive, insecure, and uncertain, brought about by globalisation and economic competition and fluctuations. ‘Moreover, even as Singaporeans seek to enhance their assets, those in the sandwiched generation may find themselves having to handle various big-ticket items, such as parents’ health-care costs and children’s education costs, notwithstanding government subsidies for these items.’

But older Singaporeans point out that this hopelessness is just another phase of life. Everyone, baby boomers included, started out fretting that they would never be able to reach their dreams. Parents of twenty-somethings speak of how their early days were spent in modest rented flats, slowly saving up to bigger and better things.

And even if the comparisons with baby boomers are cast aside, it may not be all bad news.
Yes, car and home prices may be high now, but this is not the first time they have hit these heights. Just like the economy, the affordability of the Singapore Dream follows the fluctuations of the market. As Prof Ivan Png, professor of information systems and economics at NUS, puts it: ‘Affordability is cyclical. So, yes, one strategy would be to wait until affordability improves.

The challenge is to predict the cycle.’

Also, if the experience of the elders are anything to go by, there is always hope.

Keeping the dream alive

IF THE Government’s action in 1996 is any guide, it is clearly concerned about keeping the Singapore Dream alive for the young. This is why it is monitoring the public housing market very closely and making sure that prices remain affordable. Explaining why this is very much an important political issue for the Government, Mr Eugene Tan says: ‘Having substantial buy-in of the Singapore Dream is fundamental to the Government’s legitimacy, popularity and power. Being able to mould the Dream gives the Government considerable leverage and influence over the lives of the average Singaporean. ‘If the Dream loses its standing, then the way of life promoted by the Government will lose its efficacy and effectiveness.’

Dr Gillian Koh of the Institute of Policy Studies, in turn, notes that part of the Government’s commitment to help innovation and entrepreneurship flourish is driven by the recognition that those are the only vehicles that can provide the exponential wage increases Singaporeans want.
She says the Government’s approach to the dream problem is to make sure that it provides a certain minimum, such as good, affordable housing and health care for the masses.

‘It has to draw a line in providing some of the basics as its social compact, a line established at where a relatively large portion of the population can benefit, that is fair, and will not bankrupt the system,’ she says.

Ultimately, she stresses, everyone’s destiny lies in his or her own hands: ‘Even if the public makes the Government promise more, I am sure most people do eventually want to go well beyond that and set higher targets for themselves – to do things where their passions lie and let that pay for itself – today the bus, tomorrow a Ferrari?’
jeremyau@sph.com.sg

Tuesday, April 13, 2010



Just do each task properly. - sis