A-Por

My grandma passed away while i was in Turkey. I was shocked. She wasn't all that healthy having suffered from a minor stroke last year, but she recovered well and looked pretty strong. No one expected anything like this. She died from a heart attack. I hated the fact that i was away on holiday, not near, and not available to help with the funeral affairs. Nor look at her and hold her hand, even though i've never touched a dead person's hand.

I went on the trip with my Dad, who was busy with the rest of the tour group. I didn't have any peers on the trip. Neither did i feel it appropriate to share with anyone how i felt. But it pained me. It feels like the first grandparent i lost, even though i only had grandmothers left. Both my grandfathers died before i was born.

My grandma, A-Por, has 15 grandchildren. I'm her favourite. Every grandchild feels this way. We're all her favourite. This is because she has that much love.

As i thought about her during all the times i was alone on the trip, i would be very sad. A-Por loved me unconditionally. Not because i was good or i was smart. But because I am her grandchild. I didn't have to do anything.

My grandma would tell me everytime when she meets me that i have a good job, that i'm pretty and that i should eat more. Don't laugh. She's the only person who thinks so. And everyone needs someone like that. She was that someone in my life.

The funeral went smoothly. i requested my sis to take as many pictures as possible, so that i can feel like i was there. It is important for me. Although i wish so much that i spoke to her just once more before she died, i rest in that i'll see her in heaven.

i'll miss her. I didn't imagine that losing a grandma is so hard.