What is most private about Cheryl

interesting title right? hope it got u. this is one of the numerous questions that my Prof for Tech & Lit posed at us. Got me thinking. He said that most of the time, while people might not want to show their bodies and consider their bare bodies to be ultimately private and reserved for the most special one in their lives, their answer to that question has something to do with their minds. tt's the same for me. my body wasn't even in the running. (no, u may not c my bare body)

the most private thing about me s something rather tangible. it is basically a wish list. something that i don't dare to reveal. not that i don't want to. but i don't dare. Because i noe that pple will judge me. then they would laugh at me. (cos sometimes i laugh at myself too)

But funnily enough, i pray about it. haha. i pray that God would answer my weirdest hopes and dreams. but He knows. He knows that this somewhat 'dumb' wishlist defines me. It shows what i really don't have but want. It also shows who i want to be or become. What i have to offer and what i wish i can offer. It's me. And sadly, it's private. Am i whetting ur appetite? i hope i am. cos i hope that if u are interested, then there may be some hope that u love me. that u r interested to find out. so tricky hor. ai ya, it's just my load of crap. welcome to my world.

oh, and another thing that was mentioned in class that i remember:

Prof Kirpal asked (imagine this in the background of Literature and Technology) whether the idea of immorality appealed to us, assuming the say came that technology can accomplish that for us. Well, come girl in class said that it didn't. cos then she has to see her loved ones die. and that she'l end up being alone. Which i guess is really not funny. no matter how much alone time pple need, sometimes we NEED time loving people and being loved by people. and i think that tt's a bit hard with DEAD people.

I was thinking...this idea didn't appeal to me (even in the absence of heaven) cos it may get tiring. i may just get tired living, being on a diet, and so on. ok, i noe i'm being an idiot. another reason was cos i think i don't deserve to live forever. the amount that i can offer to humanity doesn't warrant me any more years than what i have presently.

then,,,some girl said something that caught me. she said:

"don't we appreciate life because of the length (or lack) of it?"

don't u think there is indeed some truth to that?

i tink that it is mainly due to the fact that we humans tend to be complacent shits. so when we are left with little time, we realise that everything is TOO LATE then we start to appreciate things for what they are. It need not be life. It can be anything. food, time, people.....the list goes on. I'm so guilty of that. maybe that's why God wants us to 'enter His gates with thanksgiving'. it's so important.

enough of preaching. i noe i'm getting boring. welcome to my world...